18 September 2014

Stronger Than Ever.....Finally!

Well it has been sometime since I last wrote anything. I was in quite a difficult and dark place the last few times I sat down and did this and I think that came through in my posts, in the past year I have dealt with some of my demons that have been an issue for me for some time now. When I wrote my last post I was at the start of a downward spiral that ended in me hiding away from friends and family, not wanting to go to college or fulfil my other responsibilities. In order to deal with this I left my college course, with the intention to repeat the year of study after some rest, I visited my Dr and was given new antidepressants and a referral to a counsellor, I also decided to try and find an interest – I thought sewing as I had just got a new machine etc- turns out my baking skills have come in handy!!

I am finally on the right track again and I feel I’m ready to take on the challenges that life has to offer! I know the warning signs of my depressions and anxiety issues and now I feel that I know how to deal with it and where to go for help or support, I have also found out who my real true friends are and I am grateful for that as I have to be honest I was surprised at who stood by me and who didn’t. That in itself has been a learning experience for me as I have realised that actually I should trust my gut when it comes friendships and not be lured in by the people who seem to care but are really only concerned about themselves and how I can help them, friendship is a two-way street like any relationship. Anyway that’s enough of that! Let’s get back to business....Uncovering Rockabilly!!!!

One major thing for me in my downtime was keeping up with my rockabilly pursuit I have ‘liked’ so many rockabilly, vintage, pin-up pages on Facebook it is pretty much all that shows on my newsfeed! I have also watched hours and hours of hair and make-up tutorials on YouTube that I am actually getting quite comfortable with some easy hairstyles and my eyeliner flicks are getting much better and faster to do! I haven’t added anything new to my wardrobe apart from one swing dress and petticoat which were a Christmas present from hubby and in all honesty I have worn it twice – once on Christmas day and once to a friend’s 21st. I generally don’t have any rockabilly ‘everyday’ outfits so I have been making do with what I already have which at times is fun to try and mix up the combinations but to be honest most of the time it is quite frustrating as there are so many times you can wear one of two pairs of jeans with a small selection of tops. Fortunately my birthday is on Monday and after writing a nice neat list for hubby I am expecting some new tops to add into the mix, as for jeans/trousers I am going to have a look around the shops and get some when pay day arrives. I would love to get some cigarette pants but as they are basically skinny leg trousers I’m not sure how they would look with my shape so that will be fun to go out and try on different options and go from there.

In trying to make my wardrobe match the style I am going for I have found that accessories are vital in getting the look. I have found that hair accessories have been the main thing for me; I have three bandanas and 2 nylon style scarves. These are amazing for creating a look that from the outside appears to be much more complicated than it actually is....excellent for rushing out to college! Something else I have found that helps in selling ‘I am an awesome rockabilly chick’ to the world is attitude, believing that I look good and I am happy with what I have on or how I have my make-up done is a big positive. If you are happy and comfortable in what you are wearing – no matter what it is – you will look good and everyone will see that!

Well I think that is enough from me for one day! Just one last thing though...if you or someone you know is having a hard time please know that something good is just around the corner. I know it can be very dark around you and seem like nothing good will ever happen again but it will you just have to stick in there and find what works for you...I have baked a lot of cakes and my waist has suffered for it but it gave me something to focus on instead of worrying about what could be or thinking about what was. Find something to smile at once a day and put on some red lippy ;)

Thanks for reading and hope you are well :) x

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